actually ill stick with this forum because its like a treatment to me
now im pretty convinced many experiences i had were actually hallucinations due to my past substance abuse
but its so difficult looking back to tell what experiences of mine were real and which hallucinations
ill put you an example:
i was chatting in a chat and saying i though my inertial thruster being able to control gravity could be used to time travel
then suddenly for no reason somebody said to me in the chat dont you think being god infinite love he will forgive you?
next day in the chat i asked: what would you read the neverending story or lucifer rebellion? link:
http://www.urantia.org/papers/paper53.html
a guy named michael said i would read lucifers rebellion, another guy argued you shouldnt have said him that to which michael argued misteries are to be explained not to be studied
next day i felt so identified with lucifer fighting fo the right of everybody to live forever that i joined the chat saying right the way joking
i believe im lucifer reincarnation but as i had typed "i beli...." a guy named magico responded to me: what makes you think that? but before i had finished writting that and press enter he responded me
then i said because i think i know why i did that
then i was gonna say : i trust divine justice and as i had typed: "i t..."
he responded to me dont doubt it
we kept chatting for anothe minute though he didnt do the mind reading trick again
well of course this must have been an hallucination but theres the posibility of a row of coincidences, i asked the chat operator how could that guy answer me before i finished writting, he adviced me to use an antivirus and look for trojans, i did so and effectively i had a trojan, so a bad taste joke on me cold be as posible instead of the hallucination
so i know i have hallucinations if use substances but its imposible to know wether something is an hallucination or not
well also is remotely posible that this is the reality show lucifers show but this posibility is quite remote
edit:
myself i think this story was an hallucination but isnt it amazing how my mind constructed the story through several days? seems the uncouncious can proccess 3 milion cahracters per second while the concious just 12
edit post edit:
everybody searches for something trascendental of life, ghosts, angels, god but whenever somebody is witness of this, its a mere mirage, theres no way to prove anything transcendental, less than anything your very own eyes