Does anyone else feel like their life is empty and meaningless? For some reason, I have started to feel that way. I get poor grades in school, and I can't see myself succeeding in life. My social skills are also sort of lacking, as I spend most of my time alone at home, or getting into arguments with my parents over random stuff. It sucks that I feel like this. Also, I kind of want a girlfriend, who I can actually love and will love me back in the same way. But then I started thinking, what is the point, anyway? No female probably feels the same way as me about this. And, I want to have a relatively good looking girlfriend, if possible. But why do looks matter? I guess it's because I want to feel better then other people. So then, I thought, do I really even need/want a girlfriend, or do I just want people to think of me a certain way? That's where there is a crisis with that, I don't really think it matters. Why do people feel the need to have a girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other, anyway? Obviously it is purely psychological and not really necessary. So, I'm confused about my feelings towards that. And, if I ever ask out a girl and she doesn't want to go out with me because I'm not good looking enough, then I guess I can't complain since I would think the same thing if a girl whom I thought was not good looking enough were to ask me out. But, at some point I will get desperate enough that I probably won't care what they look like as much.

Another thing that I was thinking about, is a feeling of my life being meaningless. What does it mean for ones life to be meaningful, anyway? Having lots of friends, going to parties, etc. (things that I don't do) do not make your life very meaningful. But people who are really social, and "successful" in life may feel that their life has meaning. But is that really meaningfulness?

I would like to be able to get to a point where I no longer worry about where my life is headed, and just act on what is happening at that moment and have no worries whatsoever. Regardless of whether or not I accomplish what I wish to accomplish in life, as long as I am not worrying constantly and having a feeling of emptiness then I'd be happy. I think my main problem is lack of certainty. I can not function without knowing what is going to be the result of my actions (or lack thereof). I need to get over my apparent phobia of uncertainty, and just live. No matter how unsuccessful I am, or whatever happens to me, at least I am living. If I end up living alone and never having a girlfriend, then I guess that could happen. This is an incredibly long post/rant. I just have no idea on why I feel the way that I feel. I value life though, and as empty as my life feels, it is just as meaningful as anyone else's, because I am a living person just like everyone else. When I actually think into it perhaps a little to much, I realize that we are all just a bunch of atoms.

Bottom line is, in my opinion: Meaningfulness is overrated.

If anyone has reached the end of my rant, I thank you for reading it. And I hope I didn't make anyone depressed enough to want to jump of a bridge (Even I would never want to kill myself, because then I wouldn't be able to complain about how much my life sucks to everyone. And I feel so uncertain about everything, that I never would do that because I would be too petrified about what would happen if I survive, and end up living life paralyzed AND with a feeling of meaningless. At least then I'd be drugged up on narcotic pain killers. :razz

Let me tell you something. I spent most of my high school years worrying about what people thought of me, what they would think if I acted this or that way.

Looking back at those years now (and it's not been 10 years since that time), I can't see anything good that came out of that. So nowadays, I just try to be myself. There's not a whole world of difference between acting like yourself and acting like you think others want you to act. Being comfortable with yourself is the most important thing of all.

Same thing goes with having a girlfriend. You can't just have a girlfriend so that others can see you have a girlfriend. It's kind of silly to say, but if you feel the need of love, then just go out there and seek it. If there's nobody you're in love with at the moment, then just don't get a fake crush on someone just to have a crush on someone - that probably just leads nowhere. In most cases, love just comes when you're not expecting it, or where you wouldn't expect it.

Just don't go out there thinking: "oh gee, I NEED a girlfriend, I NEED x thing in my life because others would like me to have x thing in my life". Whatever it is, if you don't feel like you need something, just don't get it, regardless of what others might think or say about it.

It's kind of the same thing for 'meaningfulness'. If you have what you want in your life, then just stick with it. Not all people are the same. I agree that there's the general feeling that to be successful you need a shitload of friends, a paying job (mind, not one you like), a beautiful girlfriend and a fast car. Hey, if you don't want this, just don't get it, and be happy with yourself. However, if you find that love is lacking in your life (it's kind of my case), then just do whatever you have to to increase your chances of meeting new people.

Life is empty. You are born, to procreate, to die. Everything else between is just passing time.

Quote from dawesdust_12 :

Life is empty. You are born, to procreate, to die. Everything else between is just passing time.

If you live in Nanaimo, BC, yes

No, everywhere. What is the point or purpose of life? Give me that info and I'll eat my hat.

Quote from boosterfire :

You can't just have a girlfriend so that others can see you have a girlfriend.

I do understand that. I am just not sure whether I feel the way I do because of that reason, or because I actually want to love/be loved by somebody. I'm thinking it's the latter. Because I really don't think that I care what other people think of me.

Quote from boosterfire :

If you have what you want in your life, then just stick with it.

Well, I know what I want, but I pretty much just feel like the rest of the world is incompatible with me. I feel secluded from everyone else constantly. Sometimes when I am talking to people, I feel more like an omniscient observer observing myself and other people from outside my body.

Quote from dawesdust_12 :

No, everywhere. What is the point or purpose of life? Give me that info and I'll eat my hat.

Living.

That's stupid... doing something because you're supposed to.

You have signs of depression my friend. I would go and visit a Doctor and explain your feelings to them. Your depression symptoms are very very common in a lot of people, especially at your age.

A good well payed job, beautiful wife and a great social life does not stop depression, it is a biological illness that has ruined many a life.

The fact you have written in here shows that not all is lost and you will feel better in the future, I guarantee it.

Well, there was a girl that I really really liked last year. She happened to be really good looking. But It wasn't really the way she looked that made me like her, I just felt as though I liked her alot for some reason. Talked to her a little in school, but never actually asked her out or anything. I did talk to her over the internet saying that I really liked her and blah blah blah. That obviously didn't work either, I just wanted to go a head and say what I was thinking to get it out of the way and not worry about it again. And I figured that I could always talk to her again a few years later and try again if I still like her (which I sort of do, TBH).

Quote from AlienT. :

You have signs of depression my friend.

Well, I don't really think it is depression. I don't see what talking to a doctor would do.

Quote from wheel4hummer :

I do understand that. I am just not sure whether I feel the way I do because of that reason, or because I actually want to love/be loved by somebody. I'm thinking it's the latter. Because I really don't think that I care what other people think of me.



Well, I know what I want, but I pretty much just feel like the rest of the world is incompatible with me. I feel secluded from everyone else constantly. Sometimes when I am talking to people, I feel more like an omniscient observer observing myself and other people from outside my body.

Maybe you're just not an outgoing person. I, for one, am like that. I just don't like to talk so much (unless I'm slightly drunk), instead, I listen. For a long time I thought it to be a bad thing, but after some years I just found that it's the way I am. I listen and don't talk much, but try to make everything I say purposeful and intelligent.

Maybe you're like that too, in which case, just live with it and try to make the best out of it. It's not everybody that can entertain a circle of 50 friends and speak 100 sentences a minute just for the heck of it. I also found out that for me, and I suspect for some other people not unlike you, it's not easy to break the ice with somebody, but once it's made, you can easily have a good relationship. I'd say that's the hardest thing, and the one of utmost importance; breaking the ice.

I wouldn't say you need a doctor. I found myself in a somewhat similar situation and to be honest, just wanting to improve your life is enough to improve it significantly

Quote from wheel4hummer :

Does anyone else feel like their life is empty and meaningless? For some reason, I have started to feel that way. I get poor grades in school, and I can't see myself succeeding in life. My social skills are also sort of lacking, as I spend most of my time alone at home, or getting into arguments with my parents over random stuff. It sucks that I feel like this. Also, I kind of want a girlfriend, who I can actually love and will love me back in the same way. But then I started thinking, what is the point, anyway? No female probably feels the same way as me about this. And, I want to have a relatively good looking girlfriend, if possible. But why do looks matter? I guess it's because I want to feel better then other people. So then, I thought, do I really even need/want a girlfriend, or do I just want people to think of me a certain way? That's where there is a crisis with that, I don't really think it matters. Why do people feel the need to have a girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other, anyway? Obviously it is purely psychological and not really necessary. So, I'm confused about my feelings towards that. And, if I ever ask out a girl and she doesn't want to go out with me because I'm not good looking enough, then I guess I can't complain since I would think the same thing if a girl whom I thought was not good looking enough were to ask me out. But, at some point I will get desperate enough that I probably won't care what they look like as much.

Another thing that I was thinking about, is a feeling of my life being meaningless. What does it mean for ones life to be meaningful, anyway? Having lots of friends, going to parties, etc. (things that I don't do) do not make your life very meaningful. But people who are really social, and "successful" in life may feel that their life has meaning. But is that really meaningfulness?

I would like to be able to get to a point where I no longer worry about where my life is headed, and just act on what is happening at that moment and have no worries whatsoever. Regardless of whether or not I accomplish what I wish to accomplish in life, as long as I am not worrying constantly and having a feeling of emptiness then I'd be happy. I think my main problem is lack of certainty. I can not function without knowing what is going to be the result of my actions (or lack thereof). I need to get over my apparent phobia of uncertainty, and just live. No matter how unsuccessful I am, or whatever happens to me, at least I am living. If I end up living alone and never having a girlfriend, then I guess that could happen. This is an incredibly long post/rant. I just have no idea on why I feel the way that I feel. I value life though, and as empty as my life feels, it is just as meaningful as anyone else's, because I am a living person just like everyone else. When I actually think into it perhaps a little to much, I realize that we are all just a bunch of atoms.

Bottom line is, in my opinion: Meaningfulness is overrated.

If anyone has reached the end of my rant, I thank you for reading it. And I hope I didn't make anyone depressed enough to want to jump of a bridge (Even I would never want to kill myself, because then I wouldn't be able to complain about how much my life sucks to everyone. And I feel so uncertain about everything, that I never would do that because I would be too petrified about what would happen if I survive, and end up living life paralyzed AND with a feeling of meaningless. At least then I'd be drugged up on narcotic pain killers. :razz

Wow.. I read this and thought "hey, that's me "

I'm guessing you feel empty, you feel that nobody notices you and no-one cares. Probbably doesn't help you argue with ya' parents, either. Same thing happens here and it doesn't help

You care about how you look because you're worried what girls will think of you when they see you. I do this as well, to be honest it's just extra stress and/or hassle.

If you're uncertain about life, work, relationships and the like, that's ok. I guess many of the maturer fraternity of older teenagers (16+, but not always) probbably feels like this at one time or another. You're worried that life won't work, you'll be on your own for the rest of your life, living on benefits in a council house in an estate in Watford, and you need to think positive. Things are tough, especially with the financial crisis, which doesn't help money-wise.

You can't not worry about the future, I guess it's what keeps us all safe and responsible with what we have. Or we'd all be out of jobs and homes because we'd have spent it all on things.

As for the girlfreind issue, having just gone through a lenghty break-up with my, now ex, girlfreind, I can understand how you feel.

I'm guessing you feel no-one cares for you? They do. If a girl wants to date you because you look good, then you should probbably re-think whether you wanted to date that girl in the first place. The same goes for you, if you only liked her because she looked good, maybe she's thinking "This guy is only after me for my ass", which they do, quite often.

I mean, take Jakg for example. No offense to him, he's like a giant goldfish (:razz, yet he has a some-what attractive girlfreind who probbably has genuine feelings for him. (Cue 'awee's').

The right girl is out there for you, just a matter of time till you find her.

As for life, you can't be certain about everything in life, or there'd be nothing interesting happening. But you need to have faith in yourself, because everything will be good. It may take a while to fall in place, but if you put the effort in, try your best, and more importantly be yourself, everything will end up fine. It may seem hard at first, but that's because life's testing you. You gotta set your goal and don't let anything stop you

As for social skills, it's hard to be like, part of a group. But that's because you probbably don't follow trends and 'be a sheep'. That's a good thing, try going to clubs at school or something to help?

W4H, how old are you?

Quote from boosterfire :

I'd say that's the hardest thing, and the one of utmost importance; breaking the ice.

Yes, I guess so. But in the case of that girl that I liked last year (and honestly still do like), the first few times I actually talked to her actually went well. But then I just ended up talking less and less and then lost my chances. I now feel (although I may be wrong) that I probably could have successfully asked her out earlier, but I procrastinated and then ended up failing.

Quote from S14 DRIFT :

I'm guessing you feel empty, you feel that nobody notices you and no-one cares.

Actually, I feel that people do notice me, and that they do care, just in negative ways. Or, I worry that they could think that way.

Quote from S14 DRIFT :

You care about how you look because you're worried what girls will think of you when they see you.

I guess I do, but several girls have told me that I'm cute. So when I remember that i've been told that I don't really worry any more. I just worry about forgetting to cut my nails and having girl hands.

Quote from S14 DRIFT :

As for social skills, it's hard to be like, part of a group. But that's because you probbably don't follow trends and 'be a sheep'. That's a good thing, try going to clubs at school or something to help?

Well, I do have friends, and I do occasionally hang out with them. They just get boring sometimes. Although when I do hang out with my friends, I do not get that empty feeling.

I don't agree: people usually don't fall in love with someone just because they like their looks. They might have a crush on them, in which case it's not as deep love as a true love is, and not as lasting either. I think most people are rather good at sizing other the first time they see them. It's usually easy to tell whether you like someone or just don't after you've met them for the first time.

D:


Well, you should stop thinking that people only think about you in negative ways, I'm sure that this isn't actually true. Just phycological on your behalf.

Quote :

Well, I do have friends, and I do occasionally hang out with them. They just get boring sometimes. Although when I do hang out with my friends, I do not get that empty feeling.

Yeh, you're offically lonley. Same happens here when I'm out with my remaining freinds. When I get home I'm like meh..

Wierdly, do you notice it goes away when you're watching your faviroute TV show? For example if I watch an episode of Top Gear, I feel great. However, when it finishes, I go back to feeling like a penguin that's lost it's group.

Being bored doesn't help, maybe try doing something that will take your time, and take your mind off of the negative things, and onto the positive, or productive things. Make movies about something, find a hobby. As gay as it sounds, learn to play Chess and join a club, or pool/snooker. You'll also meet new and hopefully more interesting people

Quote from boosterfire :

I don't agree: people usually don't fall in love with someone just because they like their looks. They might have a crush on them, in which case it's not as deep love as a true love is, and not as lasting either. I think most people are rather good at sizing other the first time they see them. It's usually easy to tell whether you like someone or just don't after you've met them for the first time.

Well, I mean I didn't actually like her until like 4 months into the school year or so. But I didn't think that she was that good looking the first day that I ever saw her. She just seemed to end up looking more attractive. I just started to like her for no apparent reason.

Quote from wheel4hummer :

Well, I mean I didn't actually like her until like 4 months into the school year or so. But I didn't think that she was that good looking the first day that I ever saw her. She just seemed to end up looking more attractive. I just started to like her for no apparent reason.

There's nobody to tell you: "Sir, you really love or don't really love that woman.". If you think you truly love her, that's should be a good enough reason for you.

Quote from boosterfire :

There's nobody to tell you: "Sir, you really love or don't really love that woman.". If you think you truly love her, that's should be a good enough reason for you.

Well, I may start trying to talk to her again. But it would obviously have to be over facebook since she went off to college as she is older then me by one year. I mean, if I still like her even though I never was involved in any sort of relationship, can't be a bad thing. Some guys just want to "score" a good looking girl and get them in bed. But that is not really my objective. I don't really care about sex that much.

Man, thanks for writing my current state of life... I don't know whats going with me right now... When this year started I was the normal "I don't give a damn **** about..." but now I feel like crap, theres someone to blame tho, a girl and actually, Myself...

It's been 6 months now... Dang...

Girls are the root of all evil. They bring more depression to everyones lives.

Since the beginning of this thread, I no longer feel as depressed. Just by getting all of this off my chest I feel slightly better. My situation still lingers, I just don't feel emo about it anymore.

Don't worry W4H.. we love you still.

I've bene talking to Booscht about this stuff too, due to basically going through the exact same feelings, and it's making me feel better too. He should really go into psychology or something.

I'd rather say I'm in a somewhat similar situation myself. It's really kind of a group hug

Quote from boosterfire :

It's really kind of a group hug

Or a group commiseration.