we pass the food, laughing at your silly use of bait - why stop at McD's when you can cook your own burgers on board?

By now we have passed the stricken Rover, and are catching up to Sam and co at the front of the pack

Zapp also sees the girl, and being the virile male that he is decides to abandon the progress we've made in the race and tries to chat up the girl

now is a bad time to realise both the front and back panels of the RV are made of wood coated in varnish, and the front catches fire. Luckily I have a fire extinguisher in the shape of Zapp who beats out the flames with his uniform and chucks blazing chipboard at DieK and 5haz as they pass




(as a side note - this is very good fun...but will probably result in either a massive argument or a total breakdown of communication and a thread full of spam)

Last edited by mookie427, Sat, 7 Mar 2009 18:58.

Damn you DieK!

with me and Zapp reduced to waving cooking utensils at the opposition, I curse him for connecting the dual machine guns mounted on the front to the engine

with his engine already ruined, in some sort of paradoxical way the EMP blast makes the engine start up again, and the RV is back in the race, with Zapp throwing a burnt burger at Haruna as he passes

the 'super tough bulletproof metal' that the seller claimed the RV was covered in turns out to be chipboard and aluminium foil coated in varnish, and promptly cracks and breaks

I can only hope the entire RV isn't made of the same stuff, and it is at this point I put a foot through the skylight before sniping the tyres of whoever tries to pass by my self-inflicted oil slick

with an expert bit of driving through an orchard, Zapp navigates the behemoth into the middle of the pack and the engine promptly expires, leaving a massive oil slick all over the road.

Fearing for our safety, I convert the barbecue into a snipers nest and get ready to fire

with an expert shot, I hurl a rock at the Lamborghini Tractor's windscreen breaking it and Billy May's face

after extricating myself and Zapp from the prize sycamore we crashed into, we struggle to catch up with the rear of the pack only to be met with a hail of minigun shell casings

luckily for him, Zapp utilises his famous 'velour fog' which blocks the targeting computer

I, unfortunately, have had too many beers to drive so until I sober up Zapp will be in command, this can only end badly

no rush for me, got the barbecue going and a few cold beers

well has it started?

Quote from Byku :

Why he is "leaving"? I'm not in the topic .

he's thrown his toys out the pram for some reason

people who post threads announcing their departure will be back within a week

Quote from S14 DRIFT :

-snip-

very, very well said. Whats more, do any of you actually know what percentage of all the money raised by these events actually goes to help people in need without ending up in some kleptocrat dictator's back pocket? The BBC and whatever may say that all the money raised goes to Africa or wherever, but they don't actually specify whether or not any of it will end up in the hands of the people

Quote from 5haz :

They're only in so much shit over in Africa because the Western world has already screwed them over.

Wrong. Africa is in so much shit because as soon as the western world decides to do a nice thing for them and 'drop the debt' as soon as the leader of whatever country they decide to help out realises he doesn't have to pay back the money he owed goes off and runs up even more debt. Africa's dictators have been screwing their country over for years and however much money we pump into their economies it won't make the blindest bit of difference until people make absolutely 100% certain it doesn't end up in the pockets of a dictator. If you want a prime example of how much the west can actually help, look at Zimbabwe and Robert Mugabe. He attempted to cling on to power until the very end so he could take the country for as much as possible, even when the rest of the world saw blatant vote rigging and torture occurring we were powerless to do anything except tell him off.

I'm all for charity, but when it involves giving large sums of money to dictators to enhance their fleets of Mercedes and helicopters I just think I'd rather donate my money to a local charity so I know where it is all headed

I would go for a special Maserati too

I finally found myself a co-driver after scouring the local job centre and homeless shelter, none other than 25-star general Zapp Brannigan

all I will say is watch out ladies

Aphex Twin - Donkey Rhubarb

my barbecue is already heated

That is a fact, it was reported in the Private Eye a few months ago, and they are usually very good when it comes to reporting media stuff

what with the credit crunch though and the extortionate prices the adverts actually cost to make, one wonders whether they'll recoup all their money

bloody pretentious nonsense. The gorilla one was great but they let the runaway success of the 'obscure' advert go to their head, and sales for Cadburys actually dropped during the run of the airport race advert and the beginning run of the eyebrow one

Blink 182, Sum 41, Eminem

god I used to have a shit taste in music

µ-Ziq - The Wheel

sounds good