What is it? "It have 2 legs, and it blooding"
1/2 of dog.
What is it? "Womans sees it at morning in bed, it's little and hard"
Died children.
What is funniest than died children?
Died children in clown uniform.
What is funniest than two childrens in one barrel?
One children in two barrels..
;-)
1/2 of dog.
What is it? "Womans sees it at morning in bed, it's little and hard"
Died children.
What is funniest than died children?
Died children in clown uniform.
What is funniest than two childrens in one barrel?
One children in two barrels..
;-)
what?It has 2 legs and it bleeds?
Half a dog
Women see it in the morning in bed, it's little and hard?
Dead children
What is funnier than dead children?
Dead children in clown uniforms
What is funnier than two children in a barrel?
One child in two barrels!
Rewrite
this is a bad joke thread but please make it atleas interesting
theres a new film out about a tractor.
i haven't seen it but i've seen the trailer.
i haven't seen it but i've seen the trailer.
Warning, I'm going to tell a dirty and heavy joke:
The elephant fell on the mud.
re5pect
thread name is "bad jokes"
so.. What's the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of ball-bearings?
You can't unload a truck full of ball-bearings with a pitchfork.
----------------------------------
What's the difference between cotton-wool and diahoerria?
You can't gargle with cotton-wool.
You can't unload a truck full of ball-bearings with a pitchfork.
----------------------------------
What's the difference between cotton-wool and diahoerria?
You can't gargle with cotton-wool.
This one may have been said before
What was Stevie Wonder's first hit
A lamppost
What was Stevie Wonder's first hit
A lamppost
:spin: hardcore
Hahaha, brutal.
Paddy and Mick walking through a jungle and see a mans head sticking out of a crocodile's mouth. Mick says to Paddy "look at that rich bastard with his lacoste sleeping bag."
Did anyone hear about that magical tractor? Yea it turned into a field!
Alternatively you could use Hearse and Graveyard, and many, many more.
Alternatively you could use Hearse and Graveyard, and many, many more.
A smart engineer had managed to build a device which solely from a urine sample could diagnose any illness. Proud of his invention he persuaded a friend of his to test the machine.
The friend doubted if the machine indeed would work, but had a pee in a cup anyway. The machine processed the sample for a while, and returned a result on a piece of paper: "A tennis elbow".
"No ****ing way" the man thought and tried again with the same sample. The machine returned the same diagnose again, "tennis elbow."
Not wanting to be outsmarted by a machine the man decided to collect urine samples from his wife, daughter, poured a little motor oil in the mix and finally had a wank in the cup.
The machine processed the sample now for a little longer and returned a result: "Your wife has gonorrhea, your daughter is pregnant and your cars drive shaft will break any day now."
"And if you don't stop the wanking, your tennis elbow will only become worse!"
The friend doubted if the machine indeed would work, but had a pee in a cup anyway. The machine processed the sample for a while, and returned a result on a piece of paper: "A tennis elbow".
"No ****ing way" the man thought and tried again with the same sample. The machine returned the same diagnose again, "tennis elbow."
Not wanting to be outsmarted by a machine the man decided to collect urine samples from his wife, daughter, poured a little motor oil in the mix and finally had a wank in the cup.
The machine processed the sample now for a little longer and returned a result: "Your wife has gonorrhea, your daughter is pregnant and your cars drive shaft will break any day now."
"And if you don't stop the wanking, your tennis elbow will only become worse!"
a 2 seater plane crashed in Dingle, co kerry in the west of ireland in a graveyard... they found 26 bodys and are still digging...
Am sorry i have to say this one as well
What did Stevie Wonder's mother do for punishment?
Rearrange the furniture.
----------------------------------------
Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife?
No, Neither has he
Ok am leaving now
What did Stevie Wonder's mother do for punishment?
Rearrange the furniture.
----------------------------------------
Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife?
No, Neither has he
Ok am leaving now
I had a friend once who had all these posters, videos, books and magazines about tractors. He was crazy about them. Every time he saw one he had to tell me the make and model number. One day we went to a display show where he actually got hit by a tractor in the show. The farmer driving it was so sorry, he couldn't apologise enough. My mate wasn't injured too much but he totally gave up on tractors. He sold all his old stuff and wasn't interested in them at all. A few months later we were down the pub having a pint. We heard this clang from behind the bar and the barman cried out for help. He'd accidentally pierced the pipes for the cooling system and a toxic gas was spewing out into the room. At this, my mate ran up to the pipe, sucked all the gas in then ran outside and blew it all into the atmosphere. Everyone inside was totally stunned by this so we asked him how he could do it and not get hurt. "Well, I'm an ex-tractor fan", he said.
Took me a couple of seconds, but when I got it :clapclap:
brilliant
Cruel but awesome..
more lightbulb ones, this time i actually found this one funny when first red:
How many alcoholics you need to chance a lightblub?
5. one holds the lamp and the 4 others drink enough to get the room spinning
How many alcoholics you need to chance a lightblub?
5. one holds the lamp and the 4 others drink enough to get the room spinning
If I recall correctly, I posted that joke on the first page of this thread
But with Irishmen instead of regular drunkards.Same thing..
Wife goes home to find all of her sex toys nailed to the wall. Wife says "You twat, I wanted a dadorail"
Left saggy boob says to the right saggy boob "We best get some support or people are going to think we're nuts."
Husband goes home to find his wife shagging his mate, so the husband stabs him to death. His wife says "If you keep going on like that, you're not going to have any mates left."
Left saggy boob says to the right saggy boob "We best get some support or people are going to think we're nuts."
Husband goes home to find his wife shagging his mate, so the husband stabs him to death. His wife says "If you keep going on like that, you're not going to have any mates left."
The bad jokes thread
(1536 posts, started )
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