A man goes to a farm and starts milking the cow
When he is finished he goes to the farmer with the bucket
He says to the farmer "mmm this is good milk"
The farmer then says to the man
"We don't have a cow, we only have a bull"

Quote from Luke.S :

A man goes to a farm and starts milking the cow
When he is finished he goes to the farmer with the bucket
He says to the farmer "mmm this is good milk"
The farmer then says to the man
"We don't have a cow, we only have a bull"

lol

*licks lips* mmm, i've had that before.

Quote from Gills4life :

lol

*licks lips* mmm, i've had that before.

lol. Your kind of milk I guess

Quote from hrtburnout :

snip

Bad joke? You just miss the Inevitable Picture thread, we all do, thanks gills!

Hey what can I say? You can't deny that it was inevitable.

:hide:

shall i start #2?

Very offensive one, as i was told by my gf .
So be warned.

Whats worse than 7 dead kids in 7 bins?

-> 1 kid in 7 bins.

Quote from pipa :

Very offensive one, as i was told by my gf .
So be warned.

Whats worse than 7 dead kids in 7 bins?

-> 1 kid in 7 bins.

even worse is 7 kids in 1 bin

or really worse if there are 7 bins in 1 kid...

Quote from G!NhO :

or really worse if there are 7 bins in 1 kid...

Might as well be bins with the amount of crap they eat!

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?
because she was a woman!

Quote from SidiousX :

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?
because she was a woman!

Wait, what??? WAS a woman? I knew she had a little secret!

Btw, I have no idea who she is.

Quote from Highsider9 :

This one is really offensive. Read with care.

Holy.....you came up with that??

Q) Why couldn't the baby turn around in the corridor?
A) Because it had a javelin through its neck.

Q) Did you hear about the ice-cream man found dead in his van covered in chopped walnuts, raspberry syrup and sprinkles?
A) Police think he topped himself.

Q) What's the difference between a stoat and a weasel?
A) One is weaselly recognisable, and the other is stoatally different.

Q) What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
A) I don't know and I don't care.

Q) How do you get a hundred grannies to say "****"?
A) Get another to shout "Bingo".

Q) What's blue and smells like red paint?
A) Blue paint.

Q) What's red and invisible?
A) No tomatoes.

Q) What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A) A carrot.

Q) What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?
A) Popeye kicked the shit out of him.

Q) Did you hear about the gay wizard?
A) He disappeared with a poof.

Q) How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A) You don't know man, you weren't there!

A man goes for a job interview at a blacksmiths. The blacksmith asks "Do you have any experience shoeing horses?", the man replies "No, but I once told a donkey to **** off".

A man walks into a doctor's office wearing nothing but a roll of clingfilm.

The doctor says "I'm no psychiatrist but I can clearly see your nuts"

British Intelligence believe Al Qaeda may have planted explosives in several tins of alphabet spaghetti.

If they go off it could spell disaster.

Two TV antennas meet on the roof of an apartment block, fall in love and decide to get married.

The ceremony was pretty boring but the reception was brilliant.

wanna tease your friend? say that ''ive heard that if your hand is bigger than your head, you have bigger possibility to have cancer'' when he puts hes hand in front of hes face push hes hand a little so he will hit his own face, im pretty sure he gets angry. lots of my friends got pretty pissed out for that

Did anyone hear about the magic tractor?

It was driving down a country lane and then it turned into a field.

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied "I know you
can't, I've cut your arms off".

Whats the difference between acne and a paedophile?

Acne waits until you're 16 to come all over your face.

What's the fastest thing on earth?
A Chav nickin' a TV set
Whats the second fastest thing on earth?
His brother with the Hi-fi

i didnt read the hole thread so sorry if these a repeats

why could'nt timmy the fish swim

cause timmy the fish was a peice of cheese


what does micheal jackson and santa claw's have in commen

they both leave kids rooms with empty sack's


While waiting to finalise their Australian residental status, two Afghanistani men start chatting. As they part, they agree to meet in a years time and see who has adapted better to the Australian way of life.
True to their word, they meet after the year is up. The first says to the second "We have integrated so well...yesterday, I ate a meat pie and drank a VB while watching my son play Aussie rules"
The second man replies "F**k off, towelhead"



@thisnameistaken
British Intelligence
i found that part so funny i allmost fell out of my chair

Quote from MAD3.0LT :

@thisnameistaken
British Intelligence
i found that part so funny i allmost fell out of my chair

LOL, best joke EVAH! You deserve an award for that, Kev - I DID fall outta my chair!

Hey wait a minute, that was an insult!

At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, Bono asked the audience for total silence.
Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, “Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.”
From the front of the crowd a voice with a broad Scottish accent pierced the quiet …
“Well, f***in' stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!”