yeah...i guess im caught out.. I've lit a few fires in my time, but not paying attention to what i light them with. Bunsen burners in the science room are great fun to light stuff with, had a mini bon fire out of about 20 match sticks blazing on the bench the other day.. teacher wasn't to happy.
he was there, she was there.... but then car rolled over them...
damn...
damn...
Whats the differance between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f*** a sandwhich before i eat it.
^remember, this is a jokes thread..
I don't f*** a sandwhich before i eat it.
^remember, this is a jokes thread..
Ew. That is pretty bad.
Why can't a chicken coop have more than 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin' Catholic.
Why can't a chicken coop have more than 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin' Catholic.
lol both made me laugh
I thought they were so incredibly cheesy that they were bad...
Oh well one more:
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Oh well one more:
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Rofl!
That one was fun!
It is also my joke
copyrighted by bus drivers FOR bus drivers 
)still funny though,
I was more thinking of a plane really
Guess I'm just that evil I need more people to be screaming in terror
could be a big bus or a small plane?
Maybe it was a big air bus, the pilot fell asleep and crashed into another big air bus..
Two gay Irishmen..William Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzwilliam.
Two gay irishmen..Ben Dover and Phil McRackin
Two gay Scotsmen..Ben Doon and Phil McCavity
(Very similar..sorry!)
PLEASE don't get me started on gay jokes, I'll get banzzored!
"My wife has gone to the Caribbean for a holiday!"
"Jamaica?"
"No, it was her own decision!"
(Very similar..sorry!)
PLEASE don't get me started on gay jokes, I'll get banzzored!
"My wife has gone to the Caribbean for a holiday!"
"Jamaica?"
"No, it was her own decision!"
That joke's almost as old as you Bladey
But still sooo funny
I don't get it. Nevermind...
'Jamaica' sounds like 'did ya make her'.
Oh okay then.
hot off the press...
Fernando Alonso, Bernie Ecclestone and Gordon Brown all go to the pub, with Nando's springer spaniel, Boris.
They get three pints of Carlsberg and a packet of peanuts. Gordon, being a greedy sod, pours them all down his neck.
Soon they notice that many people are looking at poor old Boris's tail. Bernie says to Gordon, "why the hell are people fixated with Boris?"
Then, almost epically, a yorkshireman walks out the toilets. Looking around the pub, he quizically asks ...
"Now, where's the dog with three arseholes?"
They get three pints of Carlsberg and a packet of peanuts. Gordon, being a greedy sod, pours them all down his neck.
Soon they notice that many people are looking at poor old Boris's tail. Bernie says to Gordon, "why the hell are people fixated with Boris?"
Then, almost epically, a yorkshireman walks out the toilets. Looking around the pub, he quizically asks ...
"Now, where's the dog with three arseholes?"
What do clouds wear under their clothes?
Thunderwear!
Thunderwear!
A 95 year old woman wants a boob job. Her doctor informs her that, because of her age, she cannot have silicon implants. Instead, she has to have an airbag that goes under her boobs. To inflate the airbag, and to make her boobs bigger, she simply puts her arm up to the side and puts it down again - this inflates the bags.
The operation was a success, and she comes out the hospital eager to try out her new boobs.
She comes across a similarly aged man that she wants to try it on. She goes up to him, asks where the nearest bus stop is, whilst pumping her arm up and down to the side. The man chuckles, pumps his leg up and down and says, "We must have the same doctor!"
The operation was a success, and she comes out the hospital eager to try out her new boobs.
She comes across a similarly aged man that she wants to try it on. She goes up to him, asks where the nearest bus stop is, whilst pumping her arm up and down to the side. The man chuckles, pumps his leg up and down and says, "We must have the same doctor!"
1.
Gary Glitter has a date for his release, 8yr old girl but looks 12.
2.
Got a new car stereo - It's voice activated. I shout 'Country' it plays Dolly Parton, I shout 'Rock' it plays Guns 'n' Roses. Was driving through town the other day & some little shit ran out in front of me. I shouted '****ing Kids!' and it played Gary Glitter.
Gary Glitter has a date for his release, 8yr old girl but looks 12.
2.
Got a new car stereo - It's voice activated. I shout 'Country' it plays Dolly Parton, I shout 'Rock' it plays Guns 'n' Roses. Was driving through town the other day & some little shit ran out in front of me. I shouted '****ing Kids!' and it played Gary Glitter.
Burger Kings latest Commemorative burger: "The Gary Glitter"...
60 yr old meat between 10 yr old buns!
60 yr old meat between 10 yr old buns!
The bad jokes thread
(1536 posts, started )
FGED GREDG RDFGDR GSFDG