I just don't know if what you're talking about will be possible in any sim, ever. I think its harder to catch slides in a sim compared to real life because we are sitting in front of a computer with no forces acting on us. In real life, drivers can do that because they can feel everything the car is doing, the split second they start losing the back end, a quick flick of the wheel and they catch it. I think its just really hard to simulate something like that through wheel FFB alone. Also, what makes the aliens in iRacing so fast? I'm sure there are guys who can catch slides 99% of the time in the Mazda, I don't know how, but they're doing something right.
I've noticed that a high FOV helps with catching slides, when you start rotating too much, you noticed it REALLY quickly if your FOV is higher.